I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
