Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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