So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
