im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
