you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
