Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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