You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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