Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
