weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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