I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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