Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
love makes seman taste better
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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