dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
