Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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