well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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