Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
