i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
