i was born a porn star she said
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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