Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize