I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
