...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
