sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
