He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
