Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
is wine microwaveable?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
