just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
