I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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