my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
