Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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