Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
