feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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