I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
