I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
