i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
