Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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