I want to make a zoo with you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
As shirtless as possible
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
