every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
