He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
