what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
