if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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