summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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