Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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