I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
