I am puke
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
