I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
