whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
