another moral hangover. fuck.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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