Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
