whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
