guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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