see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize