just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My breasts were aching with rage.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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