Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize