Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have post one night stand depression
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
