I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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