IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
