***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
