You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
