i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
