Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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