I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize