There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
