You did not just play the dead husband card again.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
