Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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