I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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