Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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